April 10, 2009
The Biggest Heart

If you know me well, you've probably heard me say at one point or another, "I hate disliking people" or "I hate when people dislike me"

To be honest, for some reason today at the Good Friday service I was fighting back tears at so many points during mass. I feel like I've finally found the meaning of Easter (well, for me).

It's funny because we are all living life trying to achieve the same things...happiness, love, success, and basically just make the most of every single day that we receive as a blessing. Yet, for some odd reason, something bad happens. Somewhere along the way to obtaining these 'things' we step on each other or get stepped on.

If you know me, you'll also know that I want to have THE BIGGEST heart in the world. Big enough to love everyone and everything. That's what I want. That's the reason why I don't like disliking people, and that's why I like to see the good in everyone and to love when I don't think I can give it anymore. It's almost like a challenge.

I want to have a big enough heart to TRULY forgive myself for my mistakes, forgive others who have hurt me, and remember those who I have hurt.

Next time you feel like you can't be patient anymore
can't love anymore
can't hold in the anger
...take a look at the people around you and realize that behind every face is a struggle
Like I said, somewhere along the way to finding happiness and love, something goes wrong.

Know that everything happens for a reason
and there really is a struggle behind every face.

The only way I can be at peace in my life is to know that along the way to finding happiness and love, God helped me to realize that we're all in this race to find the same things.
We're all more alike than we think and we all have it in us to love to no end

Jesus did just that...when he was dying on the cross.
He even said, "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do,".
I want to have a heart as big as His, to forgive others and to forgive myself.
A big enough heart to love and be loved
and a big enough heart to be deserving of His compassion.

tcGb
Happy Good Friday everyone

p.s. whether or not this will be read by certain people...
If I've hurt you, I'm sorry
and if you've hurt me, I forgive you